Category Archives: Uncategorized

A House Divided


A House Divided.


Superbowl 2014


Sunday, February 2, 2014 is a pretty special day.  In case you didn’t realize it, the SUPER BOWL is this Sunday! I’m excited for a couple of reasons. First, I am a football fan and I like both teams. Second, there is a young man playing for Seattle from right here in little ole Jasper, TX!! So, we are really cheering for him!!

This young man, #79 for the Seattle Seahawks – Joseph “Red” Bryant, is a special young man to lots of people in this area. He is the exception to the typical athlete who lets his success go to his head. Not Red. He is humble, respectful, down to earth, and just someone that it is so easy to like. He is a super friendly man, and I think most of his hometown is very proud of him.

My daughter went to school with Red, and my oldest son played high school football with him! He is super talented and willing to share his knowledge with others.

With a hometown boy playing in the super bowl, you would think his hometown would be celebrating, hosting parties, and honoring this young man and his success. But, for some reason, there is nothing other than a small story on our local radio station about him. That is really sad! I mean, this young man, as well as the rest of his team, have accomplished quite a feat by making it to the super bowl!! I just think that his hometown should recognize this, and they are not!!

If I could, I would host a huge party to celebrate. But I can’t. Instead, I will sit at home, with my husband and a bunch of snacks and a good steak, and celebrate Red’s accomplishment! He will probably never know how proud of him we are, but we will still celebrate.





I have more than just this blog that I SHOULD be writing on. I always have good intentions of keeping my writing up and then something happens and I just let it go. I am going to attempt to be much better at keeping at least this one up this year! With that in mind, I am going to provide a link to my other blogs, both in this post as well as a more permanent location on one of my sidebars!
I have so many different things that I like to talk about that I easily confuse myself! With that in mind, I think I will attempt to keep each blog going, and have each one with a certain topic ‘focus’. For example, this one would be more about the aspect of my life related to any kind of work or job.
Now, since I am presently unemployed, I will have to be creative with this. I won’t be including only discussion about a job in which I am being paid! (Although, if that does occur, I will most certainly be telling you all about it!) I have a couple of things in the works so hopefully you will be seeing, and enjoying, more written works from me in the very near future!
In the mean time, I invite you to take a look at my other blogs as well! Please, feel free to like or follow each one! I can certainly use all the followers I can get!! Isn’t that one of the reasons that bloggers write in the first place? So people can read their words?? I know it is for me. I do hope you enjoy them and will provide me with some feedback through the comments!!

I will be sharing stories of my family life on . Please, check us out and, yes, you can go ahead and tell me just how crazy you think my family truly is!! Trust me. I already know this!!

My walk of faith and belief in Jesus Christ will be documented (for the most part) here: . I am most certainly not a Biblical scholar, in fact I consider myself a mere infant when it comes to Biblical knowledge, but I do have bits and pieces that I have learned that I like to share. I am also typically very anxious to share when I learn something new! So, beware!! LOL I am always excited to read other people’s opinions or interpretations of God’s word. However, I will NEVER tolerate anyone bashing my Christian beliefs. While I do believe in religious freedom, to me that means that if you do not believe in Jesus Christ, you are free to express that fact elsewhere other than on MY blog! Thank you very much!!

One of my hobbies is scrapbooking. I love to document special moments and occasions through the decorated pages that hold my precious photos! I also love to share those pages and ideas. Of course, I am also always looking for new ideas! So feel free to let me know what you think about what I am presently working on, as well as to share your ideas on . If you visit this blog today, you will notice that it is in dire need of work! In fact, it is in need of more than just a title!! Please check back, or subscribe, so that you will know as soon as I get some stuff posted there!!

You may be asking what is going to happen to this blog, other than to be a relay site for my others. Well, this blog will be my ‘everything else’ blog. I have always wanted to write, (and preferably be paid for it!), so hopefully something that I write about, or say here will be noticed by someone in the publishing world, or even just a small paper or magazine! Who knows? It sure doesn’t hurt to dream now does it? Please leave words of encouragement, advice, or just share bits of your dreams here. I truly don’t mind. But know that if you get selected to be published through my blog, I will expect an autographed copy of whatever you have published!!

So, with all that being said, I look forward to staying busy with these various blogs in different aspects of my life. Will all these blogs have new posts each day, or week? I honestly don’t know! That depends on what I have to say, and how busy I am in other areas of my life. Just know that if I haven’t posted on your favorite recently, you are welcome to respond on my most recent post on one of the others and let me know that you miss me!! Trust me. You won’t hurt my feelings telling me that!!

God bless and have a beautifully blessed day!!

New lessons learned every day, if you pay attention!!


I love the chance to learn something new. I enjoy finally understanding something that I have been reading or studying, yet there are times that I am studying my Bible and no matter how many times I read it and reread it, search through any study helps that I have, and yet I still fail to understand how that particular passage pertains to me,  right now?! That is why I am so thankful for the teachers of God‘s word I have around me.

This month is Clergy Appreciation Month!! Be sure to let your Pastor, Sunday school teacher, Music Minister, or anyone in your church that you learn things from, know just how much you appreciate them! I know without my Pastor, Sunday school teacher, and all of my brothers and sisters at Peachtree Baptist Church, have certainly taught me a lot! Many times, they don’t even have to say anything, just let me notice their behavior towards fellow members, or guests to our church. Just a couple of the people at PBC that I am truly thankful for are: Jared Hollier – my Pastor; Craig Foster – our youth Pastor; Their wives! Heaven help them as they live day to day with these crazy, silly men! There truly can’t be too many dull moments around either household! These two guys, are just like two little boys playing sometimes! But, at the same time, they are SO inspirational! Our music Minister, Waylon Balusek, has a beautiful voice! I really appreciate the fact that Waylon brings some contemporary gospel songs to our congregational singing as well as some of the old favorites! And, my Sunday school teacher, Cindy Downs. I love Cindy dearly. She is truly a woman God is using to teach and train His children! Just because we are adults, most of us in our class are grandparents!, doesn’t mean we can relax our studying and learning of the lessons God has for us in His Word!

It really is an amazing thing when your Sunday school lesson applys directly to you, and then you go in for your worship service, and I’ll be dog-goned if he isn’t speaking directly to me during the entire sermon!! I love the fact that all of my teachers at PBC teach the Word of God in such a way that I can easily see myself in whatever passage we are studying!! I can see how it applys to my life! I know some people are probably thinking, “yeah, right, whatever!” But it is so very true for me! Everytime I am at PBC, I learn something about God’s word and how it applies directly to me and some situation or something that I am in right then and there!! I know that is one of God’s ways of getting through to me, and I am truly thankful that God is still willing to work on me like that!

He has never given up on me even though I have walked away from Him several times! Isn’t that a great thought! No matter what, God is always willing to take us back! It is my fervent prayer now that God help me to avoid anything that might cause me to decide to walk away again! I pray that God keeps Satan away from me during my personal study time. I pray that God move Satan out of my house and not allow him to be disruptive to my family. I am so grateful for all of the many, many, many times that God has forgiven me and taken me right back in His arms and He lets me know that He still loves me! No matter how bad I have messed up, God still loves me!! Isn’t that just the most amazing thing? I think so. I will never be alone because God loves me and will always be right by my side! Thank you Lord, for loving me like that, for being so gracious and forgiving, and for never turning your back on me.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Bible study


I find myself today, curious about what anyone who happens across this little blog/neglected journal of mine is studying right now. Do you study your Bible daily? Do you study with your spouse? Do you pray with your spouse daily? What are some areas of the Bible, or topics you have studied? Nosey today, aren’t I? I’m sorry but I was reading this morning, I think semi-studying would be the word, in James 2, and I found myself full of questions. I have to remember to make a list of these questions for my Sunday school class!
I have not yet purchased myself a commentary to help me along. What would some of you recommend as products/items/information/materials that you have used in your Bible studies, that you found exceptionally helpful?
I am also studying the Sermon on the Mount for my personal Bible study. I thought this might be an area that would be filled with lessons for me, and it is. I am someone who likes instant, or very close, satisfaction, so imagine my surprise when I started really reading through these scriptures, Matthew 5:1-7:29, and find that this is NOT going to be something that I can read over and study in a day or two! Not if I really want to get something out of it anyway, which I do. So, with that I discovered one lesson the Lord is really working with me on. Patience!
I used to think I was a fairly patient person. But I have discovered that my patience seems to apply only to certain conditions. Have you ever noticed that about yourself? Apparently, this is a pretty big thing that God wants me to fully understand. He sure has put plenty of things on my plate requiring me to just sit back and wait! I know God has a reason for everything He does. I just wish I could see those reasons a little quicker and easier sometimes! See, I definitely need these lessons on patience!
Well, I am now going to go study a bit more and see if I can understand more of what God is showing me. It is a really cool thing when He shows me something and I recognize it!! Especially where these life lessons are concerned!
Okay, I’m rambling, I know. Thank you for YOUR patience if you have read this far! God bless you and have a great day or so, until I get back here with something else!

Am I Ready to Sacrifice ANYTHING for God?


I have to get my silliness out of the way first. When this subject came up last during last weeks’ church service, I was pretty willing to sacrifice one of my sons, and I was about to the point that I was ready to say, sure God, you can have them, ALL of them!! But I realize that was just aggravation mixed with sarcasm and just plain silliness, and what a combination that made!! NOT REAL GOOD!!!

So, sometime after the sermon, my right brain was conversing with my left brain and they decided that sacrificing my own child in todays time, was probably not a good idea. Besides, God hasn’t asked me too!! But we were asked last week by Bro. Jared to list somethings that we would NOT part with under no circumstances.  Once we finished our lists, he told us, then we were to pray over this list until we would gladly give God whatever He asked of us. After all, it is all His anyway! Everything we have on this earth belongs to God. He just decided to loan it to us to see what we did with it.  We are told to be good stewards of the gifts God gives us. Have we been?

I wonder how many people actually filled out their list? I started several times throughout the week, but each time I would sit and just stare at the words on that paper. I couldn’t write anything down on there! I thought about my material stuff, which if you have ever been in my scrap room you know is a BUNCH of stuff!! No, God can have all that if He tells me to get rid of it tomorrow, I will donate it to the church, or wherever God tells me.

Next thought was of my car. I love my car even if I am uncomfortable when I drive it, but that’s because of my back problems. I have always wanted a sporty car and I finally got one!! Now I wish I had been more patient when  I decided to buy that car. As much as I love my car, I don’t want it any more, so YES, God can have my car if He wants it. But that attitude or way of looking at it is not what God wants to see in me! He wants to see me willing to give to Him until it HURTS! So I knew I needed to think a bit more about this list!! Seriously now! (But I do love my car 🙂 )

OK, so seriously, I thought. Don’t be silly but be realistic. What are some of my gifts from God that I would willingly give to Him if asked. That’s a tough question!!! It is still haunting me! Because, if I think of it in the way that I am supposed to, there is not one thing that I have that I would choose before God! Honestly, I do think that, no; I KNOW THAT!! Now there are lots of things that it would be really hard to give to God if He told me too. I might want to try to get Him to discuss it with me a bit first, but eventually He is going to get His way, so I might as well just do it from the start, right?

Right. UMHUM……. So some things that I could put on my list would be, my family, my pets, my house, my car, my husband and his various “toys”. Virtually everything my husband owns is considered a toy. His personal vehicle is not driven much because he drives a work vehicle daily. I have to admit, the thought of giving up my children, or grandchildren hurts me to the core, especially those grandbabies. The mere thought of loosing them just tears my heart into pieces!! But, they are a gift from God and at some point, He is going to want to call them home again. Who am I to think that I should be considered special by Him so that He would not ask me to give up my kids or grandkids? I’m no different from anyone else, I’m not special in any way, except maybe for the fact that I do love God!! I KNOW that everything I have, from my family, house, vehicles, clothes, pets, down to the smallest little jewel or piece of decorative paper in my scrap room, are all gifts loaned to me by God! If He so chooses, He can take any and all of it away from me, whenever He wants. I pray that doesn’t happen, but I have no choice except to say, they are yours God! If you want them back, I can only hope that I have been the kind of steward you had hoped I would be.

I know in my past I have NOT been a good steward of anything. I have wasted more money on clothes, scrap stuff, and various other stuff that I just felt I had to have at the time. But, that’s part of the reason we go to church, to give us an idea of things we are doing wrong and/or letting us know what we are doing right!! But just going to church doesn’t give you the whole picture, it is just one of the steps you have to take. You have to read your Bible, every day. You have to follow up on what you were told from the pulpit on Sunday, help yourself understand it better.  But the most important thing we MUST do, each and every day, as often as possible, and if there are times we think nothing is possible, you surely need it then, and that would be PRAYER! We all need more prayer in our lives. We need to be praying more, as well as being prayed for!

When you grew up in a household that you rarely even heard the word pray, much less did so; a household that never went to church as a family, (I don’t recall ever seeing my parents in a church, except when I was married, or my brother was married). That is so very sad, because I look back now and I see so many things I missed out on because my parents didn’t take me to church. I could be so much more advanced in my understanding of God, the Bible, and all these prophecies I hear about, the various Bible stories I hear either being told, or referred to. It is almost like a prick in my heart when I hear the phrase “we all know the story of….” because chances are that, no, I don’t know that story. I might have heard mention of it once or twice before, but I never studied it!

All of this I say to remind myself, and anyone who reads this blog, that you need to be in church. You need to be in your Bible. Take your family to church. If you don’t have a family, then find one to go with, or even better-invite them to go to church with you!  My husband and I did take our family to church, but it was so sporadic, as well as we didn’t practice what we had heard in our household, so my kids know who Jesus is, and they know about the plan of salvation (they have all been saved and baptized, PRAISE GOD!), but again, so much time has been wasted. If we had kept them in church regularly maybe some things would be different now.

This leads me to say just how proud I am of my daughter. She is my oldest child and is a wonderful mother to 4 of the most adorable kids in the whole world, and an amazing wife to her husband of 9 years, and an inspiration to me on a regular basis!! She will do anything for you up to the point of feeling used. But what makes me most proud is that she and her husband (when he doesn’t have to work) are taking their kids to church. It is tough on her on days her husband is working, because that leaves all the responsibility of getting all the kids ready and loaded up, without forgetting any diapers for Abby, or even worse, THE BINKY!!! But she still tries! Lots of times she doesn’t make it to Sunday School when she is doing it all on her own and I blame myself for that. I could easily get myself up a little earlier, get myself dressed and ready and then go over to her house (next door to mine) and help her get the kids ready, but I haven’t done that yet. I am going to make a conscious effort to do this from here on out! Lord, I pray that you remind me on Saturday nights to go to bed a little earlier so I can get up Sunday morning a little earlier, and be able to help Crystal get the kids ready.

I am praying for my boys, that they will all three decide or realize that they can’t do things on their own and expect the results they hope for. I pray they realize that they need to get back to what they were doing as kids, only be more committed to it, and that would be going to church and hearing the word of God. That will be the first step for them. I ask and invite, but I can’t tie them up and make them go. I know they believe in God, they have just been going down this path they are on for so long, it is going to take some major work on my part, and their father’s part as w Tell, to get them to take a detour from this path they are on, and get on the right one for a change.  I pray they do this soon, for their sakes as well as for the sake of their children. All children should be going to church every chance they get. They need to learn about God, Jesus, salvation, redemption, sin, forgiveness, etc. They need to learn that Christmas is not about Santa and presents, but that it is about when we celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And they need to know that Easter is not about a bunny and eggs, but that it is when we commemorate the death of Jesus on the cross and His resurrection on the third day! They need to be taught about salvation, heaven and hell. They need to hear all those stories that I didn’t get to when I was growing up!
I do remember a Bible that we had, or it might have been a story book, but it was stories about Jesus. I can remember being small and looking through that book for the beautiful pictures of Jesus and some of the various things that He did while He was on earth. My favorite was the painting of Jesus with the children around him, “Let the children come unto me”. I will never forget that!

Witnessing to a child


Last night I had the privilege of having two more of my grandsons at my house for dinner. Their parents had to take their other son to Houston for a neurology appt, FINALLY!! Thank God!

Anyway, I wasn’t feeling really well, so I went to lay down after Pawpaw got home. These boys are really good boys. They listen, play well, and the don’t argue with me unless they know I am playing with them. It’s been a while since I’ve had either of them over for very long at a time and I have to tell you, it was such a blessing!

Tyler is my 7 year old grandson. He is our first grandchild and we have spoiled him ROTTEN!! But, once the others started coming along, we had to stop spoiling him and start SPOILING THEM ALL!!! LOL Actually, Tyler is an exceptional child. His mom started with him as an infant, reading to him, teaching him colors, letters, how to write his name, all things that most kids don’t get until they get into school. Well Tyler is an exception to that and I am so thankful to his mother for that!

He is such a super smart kid that I have to remind myself sometimes that he is still only 7! Like last night, for example. His homework consisted of having to read a small book from school. So I told him since I didn’t feel well and was going to lay down, he could bring his homework into my room and work on it and I would help him. I didn’t realize yet that all he had to do was some reading, but that wouldn’t have changed anything. So Tyler crawls up onto my big bed and starts reading this book to me. He only had to ask for help twice with a word, and then all I had to do was remind him to sound it out.

Once he finished his assigned reading, he wanted to read some more. Well, I had my Bible nearby so I started to show him something about my Bible, and came across the page that I had written the date I was baptized and rededicated my life on. When I was telling him about that page, Tyler told me he wanted to be baptized but he was scared. He said he was afraid the water would be too deep. I assured him that there was something in the baptistry for him to stand on so his head would be above water until it was meant to go under! He was relieve of this. Well, my daughter, his mom, had told me that he has been asking questions about baptism, Jesus, and lots of other things so  I asked him why he wanted to be baptized. His reply was “I don’t know, I just do”. Immediately I thought of what a wonderful witnessing opportunity this was going to be with my own grandson!!

Well, I started asking him questions to find out just how much he knew and understood about salvation. As he would try to tell me his understanding, or just indicated that he didn’t know what something meant, I would explain it to him. Thank you Lord for being with us and helping me to use the right words to help him understand some things a little better. We talked about sin, repentance, and how Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sin so that we could live eternally with God and wouldn’t have to go live in hell with satan. I also explained to him that hell was an actual place and not just a word that some people use to curse. He told me he knew that. Thankfully, I had a book mark that basically explains the way to salvation, but it was a bit long and it was worded for adults. There are a lot of words that a 7 year old may be familiar with, and thinks he understands, but usually his understanding was not quite right.

I explained to him how God loved us so much and wanted to provide a way for us to be forgiven of our sins, so He sent His only son, Jesus, to pay the price for our sins. I showed him Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God”. We talked about the fact that EVERYONE is a sinner, at which time Tyler told me, “Except God”.  Then I showed him Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. This gave me the chance to explain to him that this meant wages=punishment and the punishment for sin (doing bad things that God tells us not to do) was death, which lead to the explanation of being saved. We talked about confession of sin and repentance. I explained to him that no one is perfect and we all sin, even after we have been saved.  We talked about faith and then I had him read a sample prayer. I could tell he didn’t really fully understand what all I was telling him about, so I told him to read his Bible at home and when he was ready, we would talk about it some more, and if he had any questions, he could either ask me, or his mom and dad, or his Sunday School teacher.

We also talked about prayer just a little bit. Once the spaghetti was done it was kind of hard to keep his attention, LOL!  I did get the chance to ask him if he knew what prayer was which he told me was when you talk to God.

If you are reading this, please “talk to God” for Tyler. He is right at the edge of understanding salvation and I am so ready to see him saved! I want his mom and dad to see what a wonderful feeling it is when you see your child accept Jesus and then the baptism. There is no better feeling to me than to know that your children have been saved and would be spending eternity with you in Heaven!!

Words I needed to hear TODAY!!


Below is a post from the Sisters In Christ group that I am a part of from Facebook.  I felt I had to copy and paste this message here because this is a subject that I need to hear more of!  For the past several months, I have felt that God was speaking to me and calling me to do something. I was getting frustrated because I could not figure out what it was that He was trying to get me to do! I want to serve my Lord, and I want to do it in the manner that He wants me to. But now, after reading this, and several other devotionals and messages and such that I am subscribed to, I believe I may have a little clarification, at least for now.

I have no doubt in my mind that God is asking me to do something, but I believe now that I was looking at the big things He eventually wants me to do.  I believe now that God is preparing me for something he wants me to do. He knows I need a lot of help, education and understanding of His word, and now I believe that is what He is taking me through. I believe God is telling me that I need to make these improvements on myself before I can expect to be capable of helping anyone else! And when I thought about it for just a few minutes, it was like a slap in the face! DUH!!! I’m not the example of Jesus that I need to be, not yet. I don’t know what to say to someone to witness to them, not yet. I mean, I know the basics, but I don’t know the scriptures to lead them to, but I’m learning them.

I believe God is telling me that I have to get myself together and behaving in a manner that is glorifying to Him, before He can lead me to bigger tasks, in fact, I know He is telling me this. How am I so sure? I have been asking people all day, how do you know WHAT it is that God is calling you to do. How do you figure that out? Well, I’m seeing now, all I had to do is read a little more and I would know the answer to my question. I will know when God wants me to know, when God feels that I am ready for that step! Right now, that strong feeling that God is calling me to do something is God telling me to get ready. He is telling me to read and study His word so I can get ready. He is telling me to fix my own life and get much, MUCH, closer to a Christ-like example than I am now.

Right now I am starting to realize my faults more clearly. Don’t get me wrong, I have ALWAYS known I had faults. I am not the kind of person to believe that I am above or better than any person in any way! I have a LOT of room for improvements, and a long way to go to be the kind of Christ-like example that I believe God wants me to be.

I have a tendency to anger easily and when I get angry or upset, I speak, or usually write, before I think something out well. I act on my feelings rather than stopping to think of how God would want me to handle this situation. I also don’t let go of things easily. I mean, once I get angry or feel like I have been wronged, I hold on to the negative feelings I have for the person or persons involved. I know I have to stop that. I think it is time for me to back up and start asking myself in every aspect of my life, what would Jesus do? I know that may sound like a silly way of looking at it, but I don’t think so. If it makes me stop and think and PRAY, GO TO GOD’S WORD BEFORE I RESPOND, then it is what I need to do.

A big part of my problem in learning what God has in  mind for me is that I was not raised in church. Sure, I went with friends from time to time and I was baptized at 16 at a moment of strong peer pressure. I knew what I was doing, but I was doing it all for the wrong reason. I walked the aisle and was baptized simply because that’s what my friend wanted me to do, and I wanted to be accepted, so I did it! She didn’t know I wasn’t really understanding what was going on like I should. She was trying to make sure her best friend was going to get into heaven and I still love her dearly to this day for that. Doing it for the wrong reason was all on me. I was afraid if I didn’t that I would end up loosing my friend for some silly reason and I didn’t want that.

I am now 46 years old and last year I walked the aisle again. This time, it was for the RIGHT reason. I had prayed many times over the past 10 years or so and asked Jesus to come into my heart and take over my life. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I wasn’t just praying at bad times or when something was wrong, I was praying this prayer repeatedly, at any particular time. I would pray and tell God that I know I am a sinner and that He had sent Jesus to die on the cross for me, so that I could be saved from an eternity in hell, and I was scared to death of ending up in hell. But last year, in July, I finally heard the voice that told me I wasn’t finished, I had something else I needed to do. I was praying and asking God if I needed to be rebaptized or was I ok since I had been praying to Him? Finally, it was the light finally turned on in my brain that told me I did indeed need to go through it again, because I was not sincere 30 years ago. I needed to profess my faith and acknowledge that I understood Jesus had died for ME, and for MY sins (and there were many), but that if I just trusted in Him, asked God to forgive me, He would! But I also understood that I needed to follow that profession of faith with baptism. I needed to start from square one basically.

I mean, I know I had been saved many years ago, but I was not following the teachings of Jesus. I wasn’t behaving very Christ-like. Someone could look at me and have no idea whether I was saved or not, because of the way I was living, treating other people, behaving. I was a MEAN person. I remember one evening when my husband and I were arguing about something and he told me that I was acting just like my dad, I got so angry and hurt by that simple statement! I could not believe that this man who claimed to love me, would tell me that! Especially since he knew the history of me and my father. That story is a whole other book itself! But, as I thought about it over several days and weeks, and started listening to myself, and driving my kids away from me, I realized he was right! I was a MEAN person, acting just like my father had, and I was pushing my family away from me. I already had very limited friends and they only saw the parts of my personality that I wanted them to see! But now I was driving my family away!

My daughter, who I had always felt close to, started pushing away from me. She was married and had children of her own, lives next door to us so we were VERY close to the grandbabies. But at some point I said just the right thing that made her decide that she needed to separate from me for some time. That was so painful, and I only made it worse because the Mrs. Fix-it in me wanted to know what was wrong and how could I fix it, and she would tell me, when I could get her to at least answer a text or forced her to talk to me by going to her house and sitting in her living room, that I was horrible and she just didn’t want to be around me! Imagine being told by your own child, whom you love dearly and would never dream of intentionally hurting, that you had been doing just that for several years. I had been doing the same thing to her that my parents had done to me. I was a hateful, mean person and she was tired of it! That was a rude awakening for me, even though it took several months and many, many tears before I would admit that it was indeed my fault an I needed to change or I was going to lose all the people that I loved for good! That scared me enough to seek help. I will go into all that later, but for now just understand that I FINALLY realized that I could not control  everything around me. In fact, I was having to face the fact that I had NO control! It was all in God’s hands and I was battling against His wishes every day! My life was miserable!!

That makes me so thankful that I had enough sense to actually start praying again. I had stopped for several years, didn’t really see the point! What was in it for me? But now I realized that I couldn’t look at it like that. I mean I still prayed some pretty selfish prayers, don’t get me wrong! I was asking God to fix these problems between my daughter and me and then my son and me, rather than asking for guidance on how I was supposed to handle the situation, I was basically telling God how I wanted Him to handle it! That wasn’t working!

When my daughter had finally started talking to me again a little, she told me about this church that she had gone to a few times and how much she really liked it, so I thought I would give it a try. I asked my husband  to go with me, but he wasn’t ready to do that just yet because I was going to a church other than the one his family had always attended, and when you live in a fairly small town, that is a big deal to a country boy! So, I decided I was going to ask him to go, but I wouldn’t push. I mean, I didn’t even know if I was going to go back after the first day or not yet. But I went.

I arrived at the same time as my daughter and her family and walked in with them. It is hard for some to believe, but I am actually a shy person!! Well, what happened when I walked into the foyer of that church shook me to the core!! As I walked in, and had made maybe 2-3 steps inside the door, I felt this warm feeling all over me, like a hugging feeling, and I heard the “still, small voice”. I heard “welcome home my child”. I will admit it kind of spooked me because I had never heard God speak to me so clearly before as He did at that very moment! Welcome home! WOW!!

We went in and sat down, sang some wonderful songs, some I had never heard but I liked them. They were more contemporary than I was used to. And then Bro. Jared stepped up and started preaching. He spoke straight to me, every single word! Again, I was kind of spooked because now I was seeing that I was here for a reason!! And to top it off, everyone tried to make it a point of coming to where I sat and welcome me. No one looked down their nose at me, or acted as if I was not worth their time. Every single person that I managed to speak to that day made me feel welcome.

On the drive home, I remember thinking “I like this feeling!” I felt good, even if Bro. Jared had stomped all over my toes! I needed it. And the next week, same thing; and the next and the next. Finally after attending for several weeks and my toes finally getting feeling back into them, I worked up the nerve to go and talk with Bro. Jared.

That was a difficult talk, but then again, it was so natural feeling. I told him about my history and the fact that I wanted to be baptized again, and after we spoke for a while, he said it sounded like a good idea to him. He had asked me about my salvation and I told him that I had NO DOUBT that I was saved. I wanted to be baptized so that I would feel like it was finally official and real! I wanted to do it for the RIGHT reason this time!

On July 18, 2010, I was baptized! Halleluiah! I felt renewed, like a totally different person! I mean I knew I still had a lot of work to do, but at least I was on the right track, FINALLY! All I can say is THANK YOU LORD FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME!!!

So, as for now, I am not trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to do. I am finding out the areas of my life that need to be fixed and working on them. I want to follow Jesus and do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do, and I will, when He is ready for me to take that step. Until then, He will continue to show me where I need work, and I will continue to work on myself.

If you have read all of this, Bless your heart! I hope that maybe someone can read my story and relate to it, and maybe I can help someone that way. I want to help people come to Jesus! I’m not much of a fisherman, but I want to be a fisher of men for Jesus!

My prayer for today is this: Father, I thank you so much for your patience  with me and for sending me to these various devotional sites and the sermons that I have been hearing lately that are directed at me. I thank you for pointing out my areas that need work and for loving me enough to show me how to fix me. I know I have a long way to go Lord, but I know that you will be there with me every step of the way, and I thank you for that! Lord, I ask you to forgive me for being so hardheaded and not listening to you for so long. I ask for your guidance as I carry on  through the day today and the rest of this week with things I need and want to do. Help me to do these things in such a way that you, Lord, will be glorified by what I do or say. I love you Lord, and I thank you so very much for waiting for me. In Jesus’ precious name I pray these things, Amen

How Will You Be Remembered by Sisters In Christ (Women’s Fellowship) on Friday, May 13, 2011 at 10:52am  Do you ever wonder how you will be remembered?  What people will say about you after you have left this world for your heavenly home?  Do you think they will say something like, “Oh, yes. I remember her. She was always doing something nice for someone else. Even when she was tired or needed help herself, she always tried to do something for someone else.” or  “Well, she was a sharp dresser, but…..” or will they say something like, “Who are you talking about? I don’t remember her at all.”  Oh, not to be remembered; not a very comforting thought.  Or only to be remembered because of your vanity…not a desirable choice either. Proverbs 10:7 The memory of the righteous is blessed, but the name of the wicked will rot.” (NKJV)  We are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (paraphrased) 2 Corinthians 5:21. Therefore we must live and walk righteously.   All this means is to do what is right and that can be summed up in this next verse: Micah 6:8 he has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (NKJV)     First we are to always strive to do good and not evil. To love and not hate. To help and not hurt. To bless and not curse. To give and not take. To honor and not defile.      Secondly, to do justly, the definition of justly is:  fairness or reasonableness, especially in the way people are treated or decisions are made.  We are sanctioned to be fair in our dealings as if in a court of law. If the actions of a person require that they be rewarded then treat them justly and reward them. If their actions bring down a punishment upon them then again, they must be treated justly. The punishment must fit the crime.     Thirdly, love mercy Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. (NKJV) To turn your back on someone who is in need is not being merciful.  If you desire mercy in your life, and we all need it…we first have to show mercy.     And lastly, walk humbly with your God. God does not like ‘Proud’.” Romans 12:3  Do not think more of yourselves than you ought.”  Acknowledge that you are able to do the things that you do because God gave you the gifting and the ability to do so.   We can do nothing in and of ourselves.  Do not boast in your success except you boast on God who enabled you to be successful. Reference 2 Corinthians 10:17     Choose to be among the righteousness and the memory of you will be blessed. For the memory of the wicked WILL rot.                                                                                             Prayer:  Lord, I pray that you order my steps. Cause me to walk righteously. Give me a heart of mercy. To help where I can, to pray for those in need and to deal justly with all whom I come into contact with. Never allow me to be prideful but to give glory to you in all things. For without You Lord, I am nothing.  In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.     Written by Felicia Ann Green  Gillian