Tag Archives: love

Bible Study – THE RESPECT DARE

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How do you study your Bible? Do you do a topical study, such as ‘Fruits of the Spirit”; study a particular book, ie. Romans; or do you read a passage of scripture and then dissect it? Do you study alone, with your family, or in a group. Do you lead a Bible study, or simply participate, completing your reading and any assignments as you are instructed?
I have tried all three methods and have found each to have some great advantages, as well as some pretty good disadvantages as well. I have found good and bad aspects to studying alone or with others, and I have definitely found some significant differences in either leading a study or following along and participating.
Let me just tell you about my current and recent studies. First, I have toyed with the idea of leading a ladies Bible study for some time now and at the beginning of the year, I finally listened to God, and took the leap. Our group is small, only 3 of us, but that is perfect for us and the subject matter we are studying.
Our study guide is called, “The Respect Dare”. It started eating our lunch right from the get-go! The premise of this study is based on “The Love Dare” which is based on the movie, “Fireproof”, starring Kirk Cameron. The movie was a very good, clean, Christian movie, safe for all family members to watch. Because of some of the subject matter, and the fact that, though the movie is about a fireman, there is very little firefighting that goes on, or at least not the kind of firefighting where you see actual flames!! “The Love Dare” is a series of dares a husband is to complete for his wife, without her knowing he is doing so! Basically, he is expressing his love for her, while seeking nothing in return. He is learning to love unconditionally, as Christ loves us! This goes for 40 days, and when the dares are complete, the idea is that the wife will have fallen more deeply in love with him than she ever was because of the significant, loving changes she has witnessed in her husband! I’m not going to tell you any details about the film. No spoiler alerts here!!
Well, “The Respect Dare” is very similar to that, except it is written to wives, with dares to be completed to help the wife learn to RESPECT her husband as we are instructed to do in Ephesians 5:33, ‘Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (respect) her husband.’
Do you have any idea how difficult it can be to respect your husband when you are having to pick up his dirty socks or underwear from the floor, RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER! Or how about when you try to have a conversation with him, but the discussion ends up being one-sided!! Or when he says something to you that is extremely hurtful, yet he doesn’t notice that he has hurt you. His lack of noticing makes us think he just doesn’t care that he has hurt our feelings, AGAIN!
I have learned a great deal in this study. First and foremost, I have learned that, though my husband has faults and he may drive me crazy at times, the majority of the problem lies with me! If I can change my ways, change my attitude, adjust my reactions to things he does or says, I can virtually eliminate any arguing or fighting between us! Also, by my making these changes, I’ve noticed that he is slowly starting to change in some of these areas as well! But my focus is not on creating change in him. That’s just a perk! My focus is on changing myself, changing and improving upon my relationship with the Lord.
One of the main changes I have made? (Well, still working on it, but I’m getting better) I am trying very hard not to tell my husband how I think things should be done! Talk about a toughie!! But, I had to realize that if he wants my opinion on how something should be completed or handled, he will ask. If he asks, I simply offer my thoughts, (just the facts) without being condescending.
Another change is not letting myself get upset over unimportant things. Should we paint the bathroom cream or ivory? Aren’t they kind of the same? So, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE???
Basically, we wives should be calm, considerate, CHRIST-LIKE, non-aggressive or cranky, always showing our love for our Father in Heaven, as well as for our husbands. We do that by cooking his dinner without complaining that we are having to stand over a hot stove after a really tough day corralling the kids! We do that by doing his laundry for him because we know that it would be really nice if he could sit and relax for a while rather than be standing up an additional hour or so, ironing his clothes to wear the next day! We respect our husbands when we refuse to speak negatively about him, to anyone…period! We should always be boosting our husband up, not tearing him down. Remember, if he goes tumbling down, chances are you will as well!
Take an opportunity, or several, to let your husband know how wonderful, talented, smart, creative, helpful, LOVED, he is. He is going to enjoy hearing that, or reading it if you send a text or a card, and he is going to love hearing it every single time that you tell him! So tell him often.
If he is doing or saying something that you know there is just no way you will ever agree with him on, ask him if you can discuss it. Then do so completely calm! Give him a chance to express his viewpoint without any interruption from you! Maybe parrot some of the things he says in order to give him confirmation that you did, indeed, hear what he was saying. Wait until he is finished, or until he asks, and then calmly express JUST THE FACTS!! Never tell your husband that “you always” or “you never”. Because no he doesn’t, and yes he does…in that order.
For example, “You never take out the trash any more and I have to do it!” “You always look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I mention trying that new restaurant.” Well, he probably doesn’t take the trash out because either you are nagging him about it and he is being defiant, (that would be me actually!!); he truly forgets to take it out; or he is usually in such a rush to get out the door that he just doesn’t get the trash taken out for fear of being late to work! Then comes the conversation between you two. Next, he probably doesn’t even realize that he is giving you the face he uses at work. Again, stick to the facts. Tell him that you like the way his face lights up when he smiles but if he really wants to play the silly face game, you will! Then give him a REALLY silly face in return. If he looks totally confused at this, explain that you thought by his expression that he wanted to play a silly face game! Drop the subject of the new restaurant. Trust me when I tell you that he will bring it back up. It may not be tonight, or next week, but he will do it!!
Always, in every situation, every conversation, find the positive and focus on that, unless your husband specifically asks you to do otherwise.
This is really proving to be a very good study and I do recommend it to all women, whether married 45 years, or 45 minutes, even those engaged young ladies should give this book a read. There are tons of valuable lessons to be learned, if you just pay attention and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you what He wants you to know!
I will have more on this subject at a later date. If you haven’t read it and you get a chance, be sure to read, “The Respect Dare – 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband”. And if you are doing a Bible study with this book, forget finishing it in 40 days. There is a lot of wonderful material in this book and I don’t think it would do the lesson justice if you attempted to cram the lessons into 40 days. We have been on it since February 10, 2014 and are just now about to discuss Dare 9! So don’t get discouraged. Some people just need to concentrate a little harder on certain areas. Be attentive to that as well and stick to that lesson or goal until she fully understands it. Believe me when I say, none of you, nor your husbands, will ever forget this lesson, and neither will ever regret the either!!
God bless and have a great night, and days to follow. I pray spring has sprung, or is at least very close, in your neck of the woods! It certainly has here!! I’ve started getting visits from my hummingbirds!

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD, YOU HAVE MY HEART

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Let me tell you about something that is very dear to my heart. My prayer is that once you have read this post, you will also want to join with me and do something to make a difference in our world, and to introduce children to the love of Jesus Christ!
What am I talking about?? OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD, a ministry of Samaritan’s Purse, that’s what!
Let me answer a few questions right off the bat.
Operation Christmas Child, (OCC), is a ministry of Samaritan’s Purse, with a mission of providing gifts in shoe boxes for needy children in impoverished, war-torn, desperate circumstances, all over the world. Gifts are given to children ages 2-14 who may otherwise never receive a Christmas, or any other type of gift. Each child only gets one OCC gift box in a lifetime with the primary purpose of the gifting being to introduce children and their families to Jesus, and to show these youngsters that God really does love and care about them.
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OCC began in 1993 when a single phone call for assistance was made to Franklin Graham, (Billy’s son). When Franklin Graham received the desperate phone call asking for help for some children, he admits not expecting to collect many Christmas shoeboxes since it was already rather late in the year! But, he wanted to help, so Mr. Graham made a phone call to the pastor of a church that regularly steps up to help when there is a need. Franklin asked the pastor to pack a shoebox with small gifts and some necessities for a child and show it to his congregation, and ask those in attendance to pack a similar box. The pastor’s wife packed a shoebox which he then demonstrated to his congregation, followed with a request of the members to do likewise. At this point, no one expected to collect more than maybe 100-200 shoeboxes.
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In just under two weeks, Franklin Graham received another phone call! This phone call came from the pastor, asking Mr. Graham to make arrangements to pick up the shoeboxes. Franklin told the pastor that he would send someone over to retrieve the shoeboxes. He was in a state of shock when the pastor told him that a single pick-up truck would not be sufficient since his church had already collected over 11,000 shoeboxes!! Franklin Graham’s contact in Canada had also been collecting shoeboxes and had also collected an enormous amount of the gifts! There was no doubt in any of their minds that this collection of shoeboxes filled with gifts, was God inspired! At the end of two weeks of collecting, over 28,000 shoeboxes had been filled and were ready to ship to some needy children!! That is amazing!
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Since that first collection of shoeboxes, over 100 MILLION shoeboxes have been filled and distributed to needy children all over the world through Operation Christmas Child. With this ministry going into its 21st year, there are many adults now, who received these shoeboxes as children that are involved in the ministry because of the impact that one simple shoebox filled with gifts had on them! The testimonials from these young people is amazing, to say the least.
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I hope this helps you to understand why I love Operation Christmas Child like I do. Quite simply, it is all about helping children!
As I said at the beginning of this post, it is my prayer that you will be inspired to take part in this ministry to help some children. Each shoebox gift is a foot in the door to introduce a child, and his/her family, to the wonderfully, beautiful love of Jesus Christ. They become very aware of that love as soon as they open their shoeboxes! Won’t you please consider becoming a part of this??
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If you are not yet sure whether you want to fill shoeboxes, please be in prayer for this ministry and all the volunteers and staff of OCC and Samaritan’s Purse, as well as the children who receive these gifts, and their families. Pray that they will see and feel the love of God and desire to know more about Him, and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior!!
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In my next post, I’ll tell you how you can help with one simple gift!
TO GOD BE ALL GLORY, HONOR, AND PRAISE!!
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Romans 10: 14-15